


Ficlets and Silliness

by Danpikat



Category: Danny Phantom, Homestuck
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danpikat/pseuds/Danpikat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of unrelated ficlets that are way too short to be posted by themselves.<br/>Each ficlet is posted as a chapter so as not to spam the archive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hot Sauce. (Danny Phantom/Homestuck Crossover)

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these were originally written through text to a friend of mine, so they are really short. I did some editing, but a lot of these were written over a month ago, and so I didn't really want to completely rewrite them. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them~

Prompt:  How about Karkat (or any troll) eating like spicy earth food and it reacting terribly with their alien taste buds and then freaking out?

Note:  Became Danny Phantom/Homestuck thing. Danny and Karkat have fun interactions.

 

Karkat looks at the plate in front of him as his face twisted in distaste.  “Do I look like a fucking seadweller to you?”

Danny glances at Karkat.  “What’s wrong?  It’s just fish.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?  I don’t eat fish!  I don’t _like_ fish!  I’m not some douchebag seadweller!”

Danny sighs.  “Just try some. It’ll be fine!  Fish is great!”

Karkat finally takes a bite, and his face goes through a series of very comical expressions before he swallows.  “That’s fucking disgusting, and I will never understand why you humans feel the need to fryeverything!  As if the process of adding unnecessary grease to food will make it taste any better. News flash!  It makes it ten times as gross as it started!”

“Okay, okay.  Here, try this.”  Danny puts a red substance on the fish and Karkat cautiously takes another bite.  His eyes go saucer-wide as he sputters.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU PUT ON THIS SHIT?!  YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL ME!”

Danny has an amused look on his face as he explains, “No, you aren’t going to die.  It’s just hot sauce.  You don’t like it?”

Karkat is not amused as he spits, “What kind of bulgelicking idiot puts shit on their food to make it hot enough to burn holes through their protein chute?!  What the fuck is wrong with you humans?!”

Danny laughs as he trades plates with Karkat.  “Here, take mine.  It has ketchup instead of hot sauce.  It’s not spicy at all.”

Karkat glares daggers at Danny.  “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I.”  He nibbles on the fish a bit.  “Well, at least now I’m not going to burst into flames.  You’re an asshole, you know that?  Why didn’t you do this first?!”

“To be honest, I just wanted to see what you would do.”

“Danny, you’re an ass.”

“Maybe, but your reaction was priceless.”  Danny watches Karkat take another bite.  “Is that better than the hot sauce?”

“Yes, it’s better than the liquid flames!”  Karkat’s still not happy that Danny tricked him like that.

Danny laughs at Karkat’s grumpiness.  “Good.”


	2. Fluffy JadeKat (another DP/Hs crossover)

Note:  I have no idea why I had to make this a crossover for it, it just happened.  Kind of set in the “Teens and Their Dogs” world, but not really?  I don’t know; it’s hard to explain.  Here’s some kind of JadeKat. (title is the prompt)

 

“I keep telling you two that you’re going to get somebody killed one day.”

“Calm down, Karkat.  Nobody’s going to die.  Danny knows what he’s doing.”

Karkat looks up at Jade as he finishes putting on his shoes.  Jade is making sure she has her keys, and Bec is by the door wagging his tail.  Everyone is about ready to go to the park, but Karkat is still nervous.

“I’m telling you, that fucking dog is going to kill somebody.  Maybe eat them or something, I don’t even fucking know!”

“Nobody’s making you go, you know.  You can stay here-“

“No fucking way that’s happening!  Who else is going to make sure nobody becomes a ghost dog’s favorite snack?!”

“Oh, Karkat.”  Jade walks to Karkat and gives him a peck on the cheek.  “Just don’t yell at Cujo, and I’m sure you’ll be fine.  Everybody will be fine!  Danny will be there, and he he’ll keep the big bad ghost dog from eating you.”  This earns her a scowl from the grumpy troll.  “Besides, Danny will be happy to see you.”  She smiles as she makes her way to the door.

Karkat follows as he grumbles about the “goddamn devil dog.”  He’s happy that he gets to see Danny, but Cujo is always a different story.


	3. Untitled. (Karkat and Kankri silliness)

Note:  There was a post on Tumblr that had a picture of a Christmas ornament that said “Happy Whatever Doesn’t Offend You” and I immediately thought of Karkat having it to irritate Kankri, then a friend suggested what if Karkat gave it to Kankri as a Christmas present.  It inspired me, so I quickly wrote a short little thing.  It’s mostly dialogue, so yeah~

 

“Here,” Karkat says as he hands Kankri a box.

“Oh, Karkat, I must thank you-“

“Just open the fucking box!”

“Karkat!  You should really tag your use of profanity!  It could-“

“Ohmyfuckinggod give me the goddamn box; I’ll open it for you!”

“That’s not necessary, Karkat, but later we should really to talk about the words you use, as they could be very offensive, especially if said around persons belonging to certain religions…”

Karkat’s ready to tear his hair out, but Kankri finally stops talking and opens the present.

“Oh… Karkat, this is very…thoughtful… Thank you?  It’s…a very thoughtful gift, thank you.”  He smiles as Karkat lets out a sigh of relief.  “Now, about your language…”

Karkat has a feeling today will be a long day.


	4. "Whatever's Out There Won't Get You Now!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend set up a few lists with different prompts, characters, and themes. Everything is chosen randomly. The characters this time around were John and Grandpa Harley. The theme was light~

Your name is John Egbert, you are five years old, and you are still afraid of the dark.

This wouldn’t be a problem if your dad was home, but he’s away at some kind of conference or something. You really weren’t paying that much attention because you were too busy paying attention to the fact that your sister and Grandpa Harley would be staying the weekend. You aren’t really sure about Grandpa Harley, but Jade seems happy with him, so you guess you’ll deal with it. It’s not that he’s creepy or anything, he’s just really weird. Jade said that one time he shot a butterfly! She thought it was cool, but you don’t understand the deal with guns, to be honest. You haven’t seen any guns this weekend, so that’s a good sign, you suppose.

You and Jade had been in your room playing, and things were just fine until about a minute ago when there was a huge flash of lightning, a very loud crash of thunder, and then the lights flickered and were gone. It only took a few seconds for you to realize what happened, and now you’re on the verge of tears.

“Grandpa! John’s crying!” Jade calls out.

“I am not! Shut up!” But your voice is doing that wobble that voices do when people cry, and you don’t like this one bit.

It’s not long before Grandpa Harley comes in the room by candlelight. “What’s the matter in here? John? Are you afraid of the dark?”

“It’s not the dark, it’s what’s in it,” you say, and you see his face soften a bit.

“Alright, come in the living room. I’ve got some candles set up. That’s some storm out there, huh?”

“It sure is!” Jade says as she gets up.

It’s really not fair because _she’s_ not freaking out, and you feel a little silly but you can’t help it. There’s no way you’re staying in here by yourself, so you follow them into the living room.

You hear Grandpa Harley mumbling things like, _“Hmm…”_ and _“How do I help?”_ and when you make it to the living room he turns to you and Jade and says, “I know! Stay in here. I’ll be right back.” He makes his way to the kitchen and you look to Jade as you hear a drawer open and close in the kitchen. She shrugs as Grandpa Harley comes back into the living room. “Here we go! Just what you need: a flashlight! The monsters can’t get you if you have a flashlight. It’s a rule. Guns work better but your dad wouldn’t appreciate it if I gave you a gun. Maybe after your next birthday I can convince him, but for now the flashlight will have to do. Try it!”

You point the flashlight at a corner and click the button. The corner lights up.

“See? Nothing there because you scared it off! Whatever’s out there won’t get you now!”

You smile up at him. “Thank you!”

“Wow! Grandpa, I want a flashlight, too!” Jade says as she watches you with your flashlight.

Grandpa Harley chuckles as he says, “Okay, okay. Just a moment.” He goes back into the kitchen and returns with two flashlights. He hands one to Jade and keeps the other for himself. “You didn’t think I’d let you two have all the fun, did you?”

The three of you spend the rest of the night slaying monsters. A few hours later the lights come back on.


End file.
